living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
