She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
nutella sex= disaster
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
