She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
