Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
