i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
