fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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