A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
