He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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