addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just googled if crying burns calories
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
