her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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