Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
