Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we're so committed to being not committed
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
