my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
worst night to have a conscience
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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