I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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