your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
