I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
