I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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