just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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