im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
