Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dicks are not precious.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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