Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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