ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
