I skipped work to stalk him.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
