batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dignity is for republicans.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
