I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
