Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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