She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
