okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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