wanna go halves on a baby?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
