my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
