yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
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I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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