that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
