I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
