He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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