He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize