i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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