I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
