I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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