At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
