There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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