No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
