six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
