We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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