YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
