just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize