he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize