had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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