There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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