This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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