It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize