NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh god it's open bar.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
