PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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