I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Your dad touched me again.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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