You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
