I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
