So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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