i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
