I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I am midnight drunk by noon
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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