You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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