and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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