your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
